Classification: The word fucktard is a noun. It is also widely hailed as "the only word to describe" the person in question. However, since 'fucktard' is a noun, you catch fucktards who misuse the word. 'What the fucktard?' , 'Fucktard off', and 'Aww fucktard' are misuses. Make sure to call them fucktards.

There is a great differnce between a simply stupid person or and idiot and a fucktard.
A stupid person might burn your toast in the morning by turning the dial too high, or pressing it down for a second pass without consideration of time and the possibility that maybe they shoudl keep an eye on it. A fucktard will not only burn your toast, but will very likey set the entire kitchen ablaze and step back to watch the show. If he manages to not kill your dog in the fire or burn all your belongings, your life and your face it will be a miracle, and you should consider relocation, preferably to another planet.

Communication with fucktards is not possible unless your speak queef or quif the language of the ultra fucktard nation.

Fucktards often misinterpret sarcasm or premises for conclusions, and vice versa, resulting in spectacular demonstrations of ultrafail, a condition whereby feats of epic failure are made possible. Assuming you speak Queef or Quif, a rare gaze into the mind of the fucktard is possible, but as this yields babblefuck shit-carnival, many prefer instead to upgrade the fucktard. An excellent method toward that end is to "prove" some outlandishly false proposition to the fucktard. This can be almost anything, but the more batshit crazy, the more fucktard-enriching.

One of the most fucktarded things about fucktards is that no matter what you tell them, they will never know, or believe, that they are fucktarded, because fucktards are also renowned not to know what fucktardation even is. This is conventionally attributed to genetic deprecation of An Heroism, unless the fucktard is also a lawyer, in which case he is a weapon of god against mundanes, and only by that grace permitted to live.

Fucktards do not have friends. Not even other fucktards. This is blatantly evident to most everyone else, but as fucktardation prevents fucktards from ever interpreting social cues non-fucktardedly, no amount of explicitly voiced contempt will ever register in a fucktard's mind as genuine disapproval. Rather, all seemingly disparaging commentary will be interpreted as veiled accolade, or, at worst, sarcastically rendered jolliness. The extent to which the latter interpretation describes reality, however marred by the fucktard's congenital inability to distinguish "with" from "at," will only confirm to the fucktard that his awesomeness remains unchallenged.

Without exception, fucktards require immersion in fucktarded subcultures in order to demonstrate group-derived personal originality (like these fucktards), often so fucktardedly as to chicken-and-egg paradox their own fucktardation. Wands, swords, or dragons are frequently involved, potentially in pot luck slurry with entirely unrelated camps of fucktardation.

You may ask yourself, "What do I do if I meet a fucktard?"

Smile, don't make eye contact, avoid conversation, and quickly walk away.

Or, immerse yourself in their habitat and learn the way of the fucktards. Then (if you aren't bitten and turned into one, or eaten alive by them..) come back to the real world, publish a novel on it, use your earnings to:
a) help the fucktards of the world become more human;
b) retire to a mansion in Northern California with that dog you've always wanted to get, but your parents would never let you have because they were "allergic" ...

Watch this blog for all Fucktard sightings!